I Am Alive!

REBECCA CAUPP | Born Again into New Life

Easter Weekend is the perfect time to share this faith story by Rebecca Caupp. She has corresponded with Former Adventist Podcast occasionally over the past 28 months, and she has agreed to share publicly how the Lord has brought her to spiritual life.

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Hello sisters in Christ! I am writing with the best news! The Lord Jesus has had mercy on me and saved me! I have been born again!

I’d been sliding further into depression and despair since our last conversation. We’ve put our house on the market; my work has become very stressful; my dear husband is under a lot of pressure and is struggling, and I’ve had some health challenges. Every part of my life feels like it has increasingly just worsened. Not to mention the stress of world events, the war in Iran, the Epstein files, and so on. It just felt like things kept getting worse; I felt trapped and hopeless, and like I didn’t want to keep living. I honestly was wondering if God was real. I spent a few weeks thinking about my past and thinking that I never encountered God at all. 

Then last Saturday I spent the afternoon listening to a couple of testimonies online from Christian women my age. And I think it might have been the first time I saw true believers my age talking about their faith. I was struck by how real and authentic they seemed, and I really wanted that for myself. One testimony detailed a similar life pattern to myself: she grew up Catholic in a dysfunctional house and struggled making friends, being vulnerable, and lived in sin in bad relationships. She grew increasingly depressed until she wanted to end her life. She turned to Jesus, she was saved, and he slowly changed her life over a couple of years. 

I don’t know what was different about this time, but after I watched her video, I prayed in my room. I confessed that Jesus was God, that I believed in him, and that I was giving my life completely over to him. I was tired living my own way, and I wanted him to transform me. When I finished, I didn’t really feel much different, but I did feel a sense of peace and resolution, like this was real. 

Since then, I feel completely different. My depression is gone, despite how difficult life feels right now. Instead of feeling aversion and anxiety when thinking about God or trying to pray or read my Bible, I feel peace and longing for more.

Since then, I feel completely different. My depression is gone, despite how difficult life feels right now. Instead of feeling aversion and anxiety when thinking about God or trying to pray or read my Bible, I feel peace and longing for more. It’s like the scales have fallen from my eyes, and I can understand the Bible now. Prayer gives me so much joy and peace, just like how Jesus says in Matthew that his burden is light. I don’t feel obligated to pray or like I have to perform (probably a residue from Adventism), but I delight in it and feel like I am talking to a dear friend. All I want to do is spend my whole day in prayer, worship, and studying the Word! And I feel like I actually understand God’s heart now. Before I was afraid of Him, but now He seems like the best version of a Father that I could ever ask for (especially with my issues with my earthly father). 

I’m currently studying the book of John, and want to read through all of the Gospels before moving on to a whole-Bible study. I also feel, now that the veil has been lifted from my heart, that I can listen to your podcasts and study Scripture the way you have been suggesting this whole time. Before I felt an aversion to the Scriptures, and they didn’t make sense to me, but now the Word seems alive! 

Now I am praying for my husband. Before I met him, he was very close to God, but since his time in the military, he has really struggled with his faith. He thinks that God is laughing at him as He keeps putting all of these roadblocks in our way, but I keep telling him that the Father’s heart is not vindictive or cruel or malicious. The Lord is loving and kind and gentle with his children. I really hope that God brings my husband back to Him soon, because our marriage and his soul really needs Jesus. 

I really appreciate your prayers and support these past few years as God has been slowly drawing me out of occultism and into His loving embrace! Thank you for all that you have been doing! God bless! †