The school year was nearing the end. The cold and dreariness of winter were being transformed into the warmth and blossoming romance of spring. The fields of pansies on the hill between the administration building and the dorm filled the air with sweet perfume. Each day had an exhilarating feel ing. However, a dark, threatening cloud was beginning to develop overhead.
The junior-senior picnic would be next week. Dale had been telling me he did not think he was going to the picnic. He said he had to work to help his mother with his tuition bill. We were nearing the end of the year. He would be going to his home in Napa; I would be going to my home in Cornville. We would not be seeing each other all summer. I tried to understand but was very disappointed. The night before the picnic I expressed my disappointment and disgust to Dale at date table, but he was resolute in his decision to stay and work.
That night during study hall I felt terrible for talking to Dale the way I had, so I wrote him a note of apology. I told him I was sorry for the way I had spoken, and that I admired him for having a strong backbone and being able to say no. I told him I knew life wasn’t made up of just picnics and parties. I also told him that he had been a good example to me, and that he had helped me see things from a more mature perspective. I let him know I appreciated him and asked him to pray for me and said I would pray for him. I continued by saying I was going to go ahead and go to the picnic and would try to have lots of fun. When I came back I would tell him all about it. Dale and I seldom wrote notes. If we had something to say we did it when we had a chance to be together at one of the scheduled times. I could not go over to the boys’ dorm to give him the note. We could not call each other. I could ask another girl to take the note over for me, but the lights were now out, and it was too late for that. This was the spring of 1955. This was MBA.
As I checked out from my monitor duties, Miss Russell, the school nurse and assistant dean, was in the office, and I cautiously asked her if there were some way I could get a note over to Dale. Notes were sometimes delivered from one dorm to the other, but by students. Students would not ask the faculty to deliver their notes. Besides, the lights were already out.
“Can’t it wait until morning?” she responded.
“I will sleep a lot better if Dale gets this tonight,” I pleaded.
She looked at me and said, “You know what I heard?”
“No,” I replied.
“Well, if you really want to know I will tell you. Just don’t be too shocked at what I will tell you,” she guardedly said.
“I want to know,” I said, now getting curious and feeling as ifl must know.
Miss Russell and I went into the clinic and sat down as she began telling me what she had heard. She began by saying she had heard on Sabbath that Dale and I were not too happy anymore and the rumor was that we were going to break up. This was a surprise to me. Dale and I had always gotten along. In fact, the disagreement we had at supper was the only one I could remember. She asked me how long we had been going together; I told her it was two years on April 17. She asked me if I ever felt like I wanted to be free. I had to admit that occasionally I did, but not very often. Dale and I always had so much fun just being together even when we were with other students. She told me she was not trying to run my life or tell me what to do. She just wanted me to realize that boys sometimes like to be free. She said if I were her sister she would want some one to talk to me the way she was talking to me.
Continuing, Miss Russell said, “You and Dale may never break up, but if you do, take it like a good sport, and then if it is the Lord’s will for you to get back together, you will.”
She finished by asking, “Do you still want the note to go to Dale tonight?”
“Well, it is getting late, lights are out; I hate to get him out of bed,” I answered.
“Oh, he won’t be asleep,” she replied authoritatively. I’ll phone and have him come over.”
Miss Russell called over to the boys’ dorm and spoke with Mr. Marshall, the assistant boys’ dean, who responded by saying he would immediately send Dale. Was there some kind of conspiracy going on? Why were the teachers being so cooperative? I wondered.
I was still in the clinic when Dale arrived, and I told Miss Russell that I did not want to see him because I knew she had gotten him out of bed. I did not want him to be any more upset with me than I felt he already was. Miss Russell stepped out of the clinic and into the lobby to meet Dale, leaving the door slightly ajar so I could hear.
“Dale,” she said, “I am doing something that has not been done in the history of the school as far as I know,” I heard her say as she handed Dale my note.
Dale looked at Miss Russell quite quizzically, she told me, and said, “I haven’t the slightest idea what is in this note, but I know how I feel, and it’s in here,” as he handed Miss Russell a note for me.
I was given permission to stay in the clinic to read Dale’s note. Trembling I began to carefully open the note. Dale had folded this note to me very creatively. It was crisscross folded and all tucked in making a small one and a half inch square. I still have this note in its original folded position. This is what I read.
April 25, 1955 Dear Carolyn, I hate to do this but I think that it is the only sensible thing to do. I talked to Mr. Marshal for about 30 minutes or longer this evening and I feel sure that I have the right answer. We have been going together for more than two years now. But I ask you? 1. How do I know that you are the right girl for me? I haven't dated any other girl in over two years. You will have to admit that we have been very serious at times and have come close to becoming engaged. Say that we continue going together, I feel sure that within a year or so we should become engaged and then more than likely get married. I love you very much, that’s one reason why I am doing this. 2. How do you know that I’m the right boy for you? You haven’t dated other boys for a long time. How do you know there isn’t some other boy that would make a lot better husband for you than I would? 3. How do you know that we are really in love? Are you sure that we should get along just as well if we never “necked or petted?” (Don’t take that the wrong way, I mean holding hands, kissing good night, etc.) 4. Maybe it is infatuation that makes us want to be with each other. Although I don’t think so. I have 5–7 years or more of school yet. I don’t know how girls are but I know I would like to get married for more than one reason. I wouldn’t be able to support a wife and take college at the same time. I probably would be able to get by, but I don’t want to just get by. Since my father died, I have found out what life really is. I have had to face it whether I wanted to or not. My mother and I have been in debt too long. I plant to get out this summer and then stay out. Mrs. White says we should shun debt like leprosy. Maybe after several years if you haven’t found another fellow better than I and I haven’t found another girl better than you, we will get together. I hope so. I want to be your friend yet and I want you to be done. If I thought the Lord didn’t want me to do this, I wouldn’t, but I do. I hope you don’t feel bad about this. I’m not mad at you. I know of no other girl better than you. Please pray for me and I’ll do the same for you. I want the Lord’s will to be done Lots of Love and still your friend, Dale
I read this note twice before I could believe my eyes. I had started crying the first time through. I had just been warned about this, but never believed it would happen-or so soon.
Miss Russell came back into the clinic, and I read her the note. By the time I finished we were both crying. She then talked to me for a long time and prayed with me before I went off to bed. It was 11:30. I awoke at 4:30 the next morning, got up, and wrote a note to Dale.
“I’m glad Dale wrote me a note,” I said in a letter to my parents, which my mother saved and gave to me, “Because if he hadn’t we probably wouldn’t have broken up. I would have started crying and there certainly isn’t any place on campus where teenage couples could have privacy! I wanted Dale to have this note before I went off to the picnic.”
This is what I wrote to him.
ApriL 26, 1955 Dear Dale, I feel that this is a direct answer to prayer. I have been reading and praying a lot lately asking God that if we should break up that it would be soon. Miss Russell and I talked for about an hour last night before you came over with your note. We were talking about the very thing you did. Now let me answer your questions: 1. You don’t know that I am the right girl for you. I realize we did become quite serious. I felt the same way, that if we kept going together within a year or so we should probably become engaged and finally married. The Lord may have something in store for us that neither of us realizes. 2. I don’t know for sure that your are the right man for me either. I don’t know that there isn’t some other boy that would make a better husband for me. Only God knows. 3. We might have gotten along if we hadn’t “necked or petted,” (if I may use your words for it.) Somehow it gave me the assurance that we still cared about each other. I guess not though, because I still love you Dale, and feel sure that the Lord’s will is being done. It could have been infatuation that kept us together, but I don’t think so either. I too have about four to five years of school ahead of me. Whether I’m a nurse or teacher, either one will take a lot of school. I have not quite decided but the Lord has led everywhere else. I’m sure He will lead here too. Girls want to get married, at least all that I know of do. And someday I want to get married. I know you couldn’t support a wife and go to college at the same time. And when I get married I don’t want to be going to school. If we weren’t meant for each other then I’m glad we are breaking up now. Dale, if after two or three (maybe more) years, we still haven’t found anyone else and if it is the Lord’s will we will get back together. Dale, you are still my friend, there are no hard feelings at all. I do eel a little bad, but I’m happy because I know it is the Lord’s will. We have always prayed a lot for each other that the Lord would be with us in our friendship. Let’s continue praying for each other. “All things work together for good to them that Love God.” Miss Russell gave me this beautiful piece of counsel last night: “If we let Christ put the pieces of our life’s puzzle together, when He is all finished it will be a more beautiful picture than we ever dreamed of.” Lot’s of love, your friend, Carolyn
I personally delivered the note to Dale the next morning at breakfast. I went to the picnic but was sad and lonely all day. Everyone kept asking me, “Where is Dale?” I only answered, “He is working.”
There were still a few weeks of school, and I tried to bury my feelings as I dug into my class work. May 7, 1955, was the annual talent festival and amateur hour. Dale asked me to go with him even though we were no longer going steady. We had a nice time, and he told me he still liked me just as much as he ever did, but felt it was the Lord’s will that we should not be going steady.
In response to a letter I sent to Dale’s mother telling her about us, she wrote this back to me.
“I was so glad to get your letter. I knew something was wrong, but Dale only said you weren’t going steady. I asked if he had another girl, and he said, ‘if I wanted a girl I would not have broken up with Carolyn.’ It would seem from your letter that surely the Lord had a hand in this, and I hope it will all work out that you two can be together again someday. I will pray earnestly too, that the Lord will be with you both and guide your lives in a very definite way. I’m sorry my boy had to make you feel bad, and I know you must. Know that I care and am praying.”
She ended with a poem as she so often did in her letters.
God’s plans, like lilies pure and white, unfold;
We must not tear the close-shut leaves apart.
Time will reveal the calyx as of gold;
And if through patient toil we reach the land
Where tired feet with sandals loosed may rest,
Where we shall clearly know and understand,
I think that we shall say, “God knew the best.”
Following is a copy of what we wrote in each other’s Cypress Bough (the yearbook) at the end of our Junior year.
Dale’s note in my annual was written in a circle in small green ink printing. I had to keep turning my book in order to read it.
Dear Carolyn,
I don’t know what to say really because I have a lot on my mind. We have known each other for a long time. I have found a real good friend in knowing you. I hope that you have a good summer hoeing watermelons. Remember all the times we have had together. I remember the first time I saw you on the bus at good ole’ MUA (Modesto Union Academy.) Remember the time we went on the School Days (the name of the school year book) trip to Wawona, the fire falls etc., the snow trip and the ski trip. I went to my first banquet with you. I will always remember the bus rides to and from school. You are one of the best girls I have ever known. I hope that you will always let the Lord lead in your life. Thank you for talking me into coming to MBA. I thin that if I had gone anywhere else I would not be what I am today. Have a long way to go, but you have been a real good influence to me. I hope that in the world made new we will meet in heaven. Hope you come back here next year.
Dale Ratz
This is my note written in Dale’s annual.
Dear Dale,
I hardly know what to say, but don’t ever forget all the fun we have had together ever since I was a freshman and you were a sophomore—our rides on the bus, the banquets, Wawona and all the rest. Remember the summer we started writing letters, the times you came to see me, camp meeting and then the day we came here to Monterey Bay Academy; the very first week of school when we wang “Happy Birthday” to you in the cafeteria.
Don’t forget our working together in seminar as secretary and assistant the first semester, the date tables, walks down to the auditorium on Saturday nights and last Thanks-giving. I’ll never forget that, I know! Then there was the other time we went up to your place and the way we went, remember? I don’t like to.
(We somehow managed to get off campus in the same car, which was illegal according to 1955 MBA rules, even though my parents knew, and Dale’s mother knew I was going to Dale’s house for weekend leave. We were in a car with other students and some parents.)
Remember the Friday night vespers, weeks of prayer and testimony services and the Student Week of Devotion when you spoke. I’ll never forget the way you have led out in so many of the spiritual activities of the school and the good Christian example you have been to me. I really appreciated it. Dale, never forget someone is always looking up to you. Keep humble like you are now and keep your eyes fixed upon Jesus. Keep faithful and if we never meet on this earth again may we meet in our heavenly home. Love, Carolyn
Dale driving his cousin’s hay truck. He sent
this picture to me during the summer
My Cup Overflows. Copyright © 2009 by Carolyn Ratzlaff. All Scripture quotations—except where otherwise noted—are from The New American Standard Bible, © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1975, 1979, 1994 by the Lockman Foundation, used by permission. All rights reserved. Life Assurance Ministries, Inc.
Carolyn has always been a positive person enjoying life and outdoor activities such as hiking and gardening, and she and her husband currently raise a good portion of their own food in small grow boxes. She also reads many health journals and is often surprised at the contrast between what was taught through the writings of Ellen White on forbidden items of diet and health, and the beneficial evidence of these same items which is supported by a plethora of scientific studies.
She and her husband Dale Ratzlaff have two married sons and four grandchildren.
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