Ross Cooper

 

My journey began in 1991 when I was lost and I didn't even realize it. I was a third generation Adventist pastor's kid. In case you've ever wondered, being a pastor's kid was truly a whole other level of stress; I had to be perfect even when I was not perfect. I had to dress up and put on a happy exterior even if there were troubles shaking the family. I always had to be cheerful even when I felt cold, lonely, and lost inside.

And then there were the doubts, the questions—the pricking of the Holy Spirit that things were wrong. How could I be having these doubts about what I was supposed to believe? There was a constant fear that I would forget to remember a sin that needed confessing, and with just a single one of those unforgiven sins—I would be straight out of luck. I suppose, to look on the bright side, I was certain as an Adventist that if I went to hell I'd be annihilated, so if I messed up at least I wouldn't really pay for it in any lasting way.

I had been baptized into "the church" in 1990. I was practically still wet when my questioning began, for goodness sake—but if I was baptized, I was saved wasn't I? Why then did I have this perpetual doubt? Why was the Word quietly calling me, and why was I afraid to pick it up and open it? Was I really still lost? More frightening still—if I was lost, did that mean Adventism did not have the truth?

My mom would always tell me to study the Bible for myself. Looking back I can only imagine that the reason she said that was as a matter of duty. Since we had "the truth", she probably figured I would never get around to reading my Bible without prodding. And to be entirely honest, I did not really want to get into reading my Bible for reasons other than prognostication; I was afraid to read because of the possibility that my study could lead to a different truth. If such study did lead to a different truth, what would I do with that? I was afraid that if such a discovery happened, I would have to make an enormous decision.

Let's just put it this way: I was sick to my stomach even thinking about how I might tell my father that he'd been wrong about everything that he'd taught me religiously. On top of that possibility, the rest of my family seemed to be quite happy and content; a change in my beliefs would lead to unforeseen consequences, none of them good.

 

We Now Interrupt Your Message…

There was just one problem, The Holy Spirit was leading me to study the Bible, and you don't say no to God. So, taking a deep breath, I took my first of many longer and more in depth swims in the Word of God, and I realized something right as I dived in: if I actually read entire chapters, then sections, and on top of that—whole books, things made a lot more sense. Amazingly, I had found something called context. Verses that I had read before I was now finding in context, and they were consistently disproving things that I thought I knew for certain!

On Sabbath I often ran the sound system for church, and as my studies in the Bible got more and more complete and intense, I often found myself in silent disagreement with the pastor—even if he was my dad. On such occasions I would imagine myself muting his microphone whenever he said something I no longer believed to be the truth. Needless to say, that would have truly annoyed the other congregants who were there to hear the entire sermon, but in my fantasy, because of my actions they were getting the truth. Of course, I never acted out these daydreams because it's not my job to reveal the truth. That job belongs to the Holy Spirit, and it's something that the Holy Spirit is simply brilliant at doing.

During this time an online friend from Oregon was helping me in the studies of my new beliefs. She was fantastic; she was so kind, patient, and loving—and, just like the Holy Spirit—she worked slowly. It was quite amazing; both the Holy Spirit and my friend Inez would lead me into deeper study, and if I was ever confused, they would approach the subject from a different angle or answer another question first to make the original one clearer. Weeks turned into months and months into years, and my relationships became more intimate—both my relationship with the Holy Spirit and the one with Inez. Eventually I got past my fears and was able to study with an ever-increasing eagerness and wonder at each new revelation. It was as if Jesus slowly lifted up that Old Testament veil until one day it was gone, and I could see things clearly for the first time.

After seriously studying the Bible—especially the New Testament—for 8 years, my feelings for the Bible were revolutionized, as was my belief system. The Bible clearly painted an entirely different story about salvation than did Adventism. There was a freedom, a celebration; it was as if I was coming up for long gasping breaths after swimming far too long underwater.

 

A New Life

In 2003 two events ensured I would sever my links with Adventism. The first was an absurd piece of discrimination to my then-fiancÈe Inez at a certain venue within the local conference. The second event occurred in December of 2003: I was married to my love Inez, and we moved to Oregon.

Making that move was like getting in an emergency escape capsule and landing well clear of any known Adventist ties. Not that there weren't Adventist churches nearby, of course, but my new family was fully involved in the local Calvary Chapel. Going to Calvary Chapel was almost overwhelming. I felt like I was being drowned in Living Water twice a week, every week. I had gone from a church where I practically never felt the Spirit to one where I was finding myself drenched by a nearly unquenchable deluge!

On one night in June, 2004, with Inez at my side, I made the most difficult phone call I'd ever made. It was a phone call to my Dad in California to let him know I was getting re-baptized as a Christ-follower. What would my dad say? Could I even get the words out? To be honest, I don't remember much of the conversation, but I do remember the last line: "Please, Dad, don't disown me!"

There was a very long pause before my dad came back on the line and simply re-affirmed to me what he'd said to me a number of years before: "You go where the Holy Spirit tells you to go! I love you, Son, and I always will; thank you for letting me know."

I was baptized in June of 2004, worshiping on Sunday, enjoying freedom in Christ. Soon Inez and I had three children with one more that didn't live but went to be with Jesus and the other little boys and girls in Heaven. My life looked good on the outside, but I was beginning to realize that God makes us alive while we're still in our sin (Eph. 2:4-6), and then He asks us to live by the Spirit and put to death the deeds of the flesh (Rom. 8:8-13). On the inside, I was still full of sin.

 

The God Who Heals

That is what ruined my life; Satan still had a firm grip on my flesh that I thought I had broken. No longer being with my wife and children hurt then, and it hurts even more now. However, the Lord wasn't finished with me, and I certainly wasn't finished with Him.

In 2009 I hitchhiked to a small town just north of Sacramento, California, and it was there during five days that God changed my life forever. While I was at the local Calvary Chapel for services on Sunday, someone was breaking into the halfway house where I was staying. They stole my laptop, and it was then I realized that my laptop had been my life. The folks at the halfway house couldn't believe I wasn't cursing God and reacting as most of them would. Instead I simply told them, "God stole my laptop so He'd have my attention."

Later, as I lived on the streets of Redlands, California, I became even more devoted to God. My nightly prayer was a simple testament to my faith: "Lord, it's time for me to go to sleep. If the next thing I see is your face, I know that you've called me home. And if the next thing I see is the sunrise, you still have things for me to do for you. Amen."

In June, 2010, I repented of that sin that had torn my marriage apart, and I felt His Spirit fill me as never before. This experience proves the simple fact that living in Christ is always a work in progress. Christianity itself is about looking always to Christ and the heavenly perfection He promises through the sealing and regenerative power of the Holy Spirit to bring us to completion at the end. The law cannot save us; it only condemns and points us to our Savior. It is through His death and resurrection that we are born a new creation. It is through His sacrifice that we enter into the promised rest, and our sins are cast away as far as the east is from the west.

 

Where I Stand

All I know right now is that my life is Christ's, and He works through me. He provides for me in miraculous ways, and I've run out of ways to thank Him. Over the last several months God has worked further revolution in my life. I am now a member at Trinity Church in Redlands, California, a fantastic truth-focused, gospel-centered, and Bible-believing church—a further clarification that there is abundant life outside of Adventism. I finally feel that I am now at home, and I am confident of my faith and my security in Christ. Now I can approach the very throne of God, as I am seen as sinless through the covering of His Son. Perhaps the greatest thing about my standing in Christ is that I can now, thanks to Him, start my prayers by saying, "Daddy, Father…"

I was lost, but He has found me. †

 

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HOME / PROCLAMATION! MAGAZINE / 2010 / OCTOBER NOVEMBER DECEMBER / STORIES OF FAITH

Ross Cooper was born a 3rd generation Seventh-day Adventist pastors kid. He moved from England to the U.S., then to Northern Ireland, and finally back to the U.S. It was after the family's final move that the Holy Spirit began to lead him out of Adventism through extensive Bible study over a period of many years. Born again and rebaptized into Christ who is his Sabbath Rest in 2004 while living in Eugene, Oregon, he now lives in Southern California and attends Trinity Church in Redlands, California, and is a full-time Christ-follower. You can visit his blogs online at:
http://thebiblerunner.wordpress.com and
http://undercoveradventist.wordpress.com.

October November December 2010
VOLUME 11, ISSUE 4

D E P A R T M E N T S

STORIES of Faith

Lost but found by Jesus