HOME / PROCLAMATION! MAGAZINE / 2009 / FALL / STORIES OF FAITH

FALL 2009
VOLUME 10, ISSUE 4

D E P A R T M E N T S

STORIES of Faith

 

More than all I could ask or imagine

Clinton Cooper

 

I was born into a strong Adventist family with deep roots in the denomination. Many of my aunts, uncles, and cousins lived in the same Adventist community we were in, and we all attended church and school together; some of us even worked together in a family-owned business. Those were happy years for me. I had very loving, generous parents whose wish was that my siblings and I would grow up to be caring, loving Christians. My childhood was not steeped in the strict legalism of traditional Adventism.

Yes, there were the typical Sabbath rules that surrounded the more-than-24-hour period from Friday afternoon until Saturday evening, but generally I didn't dislike those rules much. As I grew older and entered high school and college, I learned to love the Sabbath even more as it provided time to rest from the pressures of school and work.

I loved church growing up and went to Sabbath-school, worship service, potlucks, church plays, and special programs that my mother would help coordinate. I remember wondering why all other Christians didn't see the truth of the Sabbath as clearly as we all did. It seemed very simple to me.

When it came to other doctrinal matters, however, I was more confused. Revelation always confounded me. I remember hearing various explanations of Revelation in church and being overwhelmed by the seemingly random interpretations of the texts. When it came to more complex doctrines like the sanctuary service and the investigative judgment, I never could thoroughly understand them.

I didn't care for the prophecy seminars when they were held in our church or nearby venues, either. My mother shied away from having anything to do with these seminars or any sermons on the end-times, the time of trouble, or Daniel and Revelation. She was traumatized by them so much as a child that to this day she can't handle any Adventist presentation of them. I, too, had the same fears when I heard horror stories about how bad the end times would be—that during the time of trouble, we would have to stand without any help from Jesus mediating for us. We would have to be perfect to survive. These Adventist teachings would scare me so much I couldn't think about them, and led me to believe something was not right within my church.

I remember hearing sermons about repentance and committing our lives to Jesus. An emotional appeal would be made at church to the tune of the old hymn, "I Surrender All". I wanted to go forward and be saved when I heard those calls. The nervousness of the moment would make my heart pound in my chest as I contemplated responding. A few times I went up to commit my life to Christ, but a short time later, as I always did, I found myself unchanged, untransformed, and still feeling unsure, uncertain, and fearful about my whole destiny and salvation.

The process of selective hearing, common in Adventism, seemed to have served my family well, so I used this method, too, by ignoring parts of the teaching that scared or confused me. We didn't study Ellen White at home except for the occasional quotation look-up for a Sabbath school lesson, and we seemed to turn a blind eye to her stranger writings and prophesies.

 

Craving more from God

As I got older and attended college, I felt a craving for more from God, a deeper faith. I really wanted to know Him and the Bible more. I finally mustered up the courage to attend the weekday Bible study that the Baptist Student Union held on campus. It was very much an inter-denominational club, including students from every major Christian denomination represented in our area. I really enjoyed the fellowship and the on-campus pastor and the teaching she provided us. We began to study Galatians once during the semester. Up until that time, I had never studied a whole book of the Bible all the way through, only topically as typically done in the Sabbath-school quarterlies. Galatians confused me greatly as I read it! I didn't understand what it meant to be free from the law and to live by the Spirit because I thought the Ten Commandments were binding on all Christians. I remember asking Sheila, our campus pastor, what certain things meant as we studied Galatians. I didn't grasp the concepts of the book yet, but my curiosity was awakened, and I would turn back to Galatians time and time again from that point on.

Not long after that, while I was in my third year of college, I began to attend a large church occasionally with some friends of mine on Sundays. It felt very strange for me to be worshiping on Sunday, and I felt guilty for doing so, but thought it would be O.K. as long as I also worshiped on the true Sabbath—Saturday. I so desperately craved God in my life that I was going to seek Him wherever He was, even in a non-Adventist church. I felt and saw something there I hadn't ever experienced before. The church was alive, the teaching was powerful, and the people there had a joy that I did not have. I wanted that joy so badly that I kept going back trying to find it.

I didn't stay long at that church, but I was refreshed from my time there and left with a passion for Jesus and a desire to serve Him with my life. I began to help in youth ministry at my Adventist home church after I graduated from college. I wanted deeply to teach the kids in the youth class about the grace and loving kindness of the Lord that I was beginning to learn. I wanted to make a difference where I was by teaching Jesus using the inductive, verse-by-verse Bible study that I had learned in college. I wanted to fix the church from within, to make it a place that lived and taught the grace of Christ. My desire to change things brought about many arguments and fights. I upset many parents when I decided to teach The Purpose Driven Life instead of the quarterly. I upset many people when I went to the grocery store on Sabbath morning to buy fresh doughnuts for my class—because I shouldn't be shopping on the Sabbath, but my kids were happy I brought them, so I continued to do so!

 

Burned out

After serving for four years in the youth department, I found myself burned out, depressed, and saddened by my failed attempts to change my church that I loved. My cognitive dissonance only grew more and more over those years as I became more skeptical of Adventist teaching and doctrine as a result of my own inductive study of the Bible. I felt guilty for having to teach doctrines I did not believe to be true. I was certain that the Adventist church was not the remnant church it claimed to be. I didn't believe in the investigative judgment. I was also convinced that if someone wasn't raised to keep the Sabbath and was not convicted to do so, they would not have to obey that commandment, but since I was still convicted to keep it, I should do so. I wasn't sure if Ellen White was a true prophet, but I knew many of her writings contradicted Scripture, so I was definitely not going to teach or read her writings anymore. I was so burdened, burned-out, and disappointed that I found I could not even stay to listen to the sermon after I taught my youth Sabbath-school class. The teaching would upset me so much: a degraded view of Jesus, a warped view of grace, and a works-based salvation. I decided after much prayer that I would leave my home church and go wherever God planted me—at any church or in any denomination.

I planned my exit six months in advance so I could fulfill my duties in teaching the youth. When my last Sabbath came to teach at my church, I was surprised that my friends weren't more concerned. I got a few goodbyes, but nothing more. Perhaps they thought I'd be back soon.

I decided I would go first to another Adventist church near where I lived. I liked the pastor there, and it was a more contemporary church than my previous church home. I decided also to attend the large church I had visited years before, Southeast Christian Church, on Sundays.

After just two weeks, I felt the same spirit of legalism at this new Adventist church that I had dreaded so much. At the same time, I felt a tug on my heart from God that I should join Southeast Christian as my new church home. But how could I join a "Sunday-keeping" church? What would my parents think? Plus, I still had disagreements over different points of doctrine, such as the state of the dead, the Sabbath, the law, and hell. I did not want to join this church because I knew of the trouble it would cause. But God's call was stronger than my reservations.

I found myself the next Sunday sitting in the pew, my heart pounding in my chest, wanting to break out in tears because I was feeling so convicted to join this church. I obeyed and went forward during the altar call to ask for membership.

 

Blessings follow obedience

I couldn't believe the changes God started to perform in my life when I was obedient to His calling. I threw myself into service at the needs-based ministry at the church that served the less fortunate in the area. I loved serving and helping those who needed basic things that I took for granted, like food and household items. I joined a singles' Sunday school class and made many new friends. I would occasionally attend my old Adventist church with my parents, even with all my unsettled doubts, all the while trying to obey the Sabbath according to my convictions.

A few months later, I met my future wife in my Sunday school class. We bonded instantly over our shared interests of theology and Bible study. I had never met anyone so perfect for me! I had gained a lover, a friend, and a soul-mate all at the same time. God certainly had her in mind when I made the decision to join my new church. After we dated for three and a half months, I asked her to marry me. She gladly said yes, and we were married only three months later!

 

New covenant glory

My new wife had training in biblical Greek, a skill which was extremely helpful to me when we would discuss different matters of doctrine. I asked her continually what the new covenant was, as I really had no idea what it meant, and she helped me to understand it. After studying online with former Adventist pastors Mark Martin (exAdventist.com) and Clay Peck's (GracePlace.org) Bible studies, something clicked in my head, and everything became clear at once! After struggling for so many years about what the Christian life looked like, what grace really was, and how the Law and the new covenant fit into all these things, I finally understood.

I learned that the Ten Commandments are part of the old covenant and that the new covenant was about living by the Spirit, not by the letter, because the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life! I learned that I was under this new covenant because of Jesus' atoning death on the cross, and His righteousness covered my sinful life by the free, unearned gift of grace. I learned that the Sabbath was just a shadow of the real rest to come, which is found in Jesus. I learned that I had an actual spirit that had been made alive when I believed in Christ as my Savior and Lord. I learned that the death of a believer is not non-existence in the grave, but an immediate transfer of my spirit from this body to the presence of the Lord. I learned that this new covenant did not mean I could go out and live as I pleased, but that I was now living by the Spirit who guided and directed my life. I also learned of the substantial evidence against Ellen White, and I now saw her as a false prophet.

The overwhelming knowledge of all these things made me so emotional that I wasn't able to keep my composure at work, and I found myself crying at my desk for several days. I was so amazed at what Christ had done, and at the same time I was amazed at how wrong I had been—and simultaneously I was sad that I had been deceived by my church that I loved. Nevertheless, my doubts were now gone, and I had gained a new confidence in the Lord, not in what I could do for my own righteousness, but in what He has already done by Christ's own life in place of mine.

A few months later, because of a prompting from my wife, I decided to be baptized into my new-found faith in Jesus, as I knew once and finally that He is my substitute, my Savior, and my Lord. My wife decided to be re-baptized with me, too. Our church has all new believers repeat this good confession before anyone is baptized: "I believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of the Living God, my Lord and Savior." Nothing more, nothing less. This is my confession now, too, and it frames my whole faith.

My life changed once I discovered the truth of Jesus and His new covenant. The power of Jesus and His new covenant transformed me. He is able to do immeasurably more than we can ask or imagine. I am living proof of this. †

 

 

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Clinton Cooper and his wife Kristyn live in Louisville, Kentucky. They are both graduates of Indiana University. Clinton works as a systems engineer for an IT company, and Kristyn works as a development officer for a private school serving children with dyslexia. They attend Southeast Christian Church, and together they assist in leading a college-age Sunday school class. They love travelling together and have visited the biblical cities of Athens, Ephesus, and Patmos. They hope to visit Israel in the future too.