HOME / PROCLAMATION! MAGAZINE / 2009 / MARCH/APRIL / STORIES OF FAITH

MARCH/APRIL 2009
VOLUME 10, ISSUE 2

D E P A R T M E N T S

STORIES of Faith

 

 

 

 

 

Carolyn Ratzlaff

 

I grew up in a fifth generation Seventh-day Adventist Christian home in Phoenix, Arizona. When I was very young, I fell in love with Jesus. I loved going to Sabbath school and church. My third grade in school probably had more spiritual impact on my life than any other year. In Bible class I learned about a woman who believed she received a call from God for a very special mission. I was inspired by the story of Ellen White, and I, too, wanted to hear a call from God to work for Him. I gave my heart to Jesus one day when I was out in the pasture between my house and my grandparent's house.

I joined a baptismal class and was baptized at the age of nine. Our church had about twelve steps with a foot-wide banister on each side leading up to the foyer and main sanctuary. Children often used the banister as a slide, even though we had been told not to. After being baptized, I slid down this banister. My older sister Jeanine was at the bottom, and she scolded me. We got into a little squabble. I was devastated! I thought baptism would make me perfect. Why did I still want to fight with my sister? I was worried. At school, I had just memorized 1 John 1:9, "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." That night I told Jeanine I was sorry and also asked Jesus to forgive me. I prayed a similar prayer for many years after that, always asking Jesus to forgive my sins, and to help me be ready to go to heaven when Jesus would come, but never going to sleep with the assurance Jesus wanted me to have.

When I was ready for high school my family moved from Arizona to Oakdale, California, where Jeanine and I would be attending Modesto Union Academy. Our first Sabbath in California some girls were showing us the school yearbook. "There is your third-grade boyfriend Dale Ratzlaff!" Jeanine exclaimed as we were looking at the pictures of the students. I was embarrassed and angry at being reminded of a third-grade boyfriend and denied the picture was of the same Dale Ratzlaff I had known and liked in the third grade, but in my heart, I knew it was—and felt myself blushing.

Monday morning Dale got on the bus shortly after we did. "That is Dale, and you should talk to him," Jeanine insisted. I wasn't about to do such a bold thing, but a couple of days later Dale asked if he could sit with me on the bus ride home. We began sitting together regularly during the hour's ride to and from school, and before long we began going steady. We often prayed that our relationship would be pleasing to God.

Both Dale and I were reading Messages to Young People by Ellen White and believed this book held special guidelines for young people of our day. I was so earnest about following every counsel in the book that I would not allow my picture to be taken for the school yearbook my sophomore year. Meanwhile, Dale and I responded to several calls of commitment to Christ, and at a Youth Congress in San Francisco, we committed to being missionaries.

Dale stayed out of school a year to support his mother between his sophomore and junior years, so we were both juniors during the same year. We transferred to Monterey Bay Academy, but during that year our teachers convinced us to break up. We might be getting too serious, they said. We were both devastated, but we wanted to do God's will, so we complied. By our senior year, however, we knew God was directing our relationship, and we got back together.

At the end of Dale's first year at Pacific Union College (PUC), we were married. On our honeymoon, we spent Sabbath in the woods reading The Adventist Home by Ellen White. Dale had another year of college, but money was very tight, and he dropped out of school to work. During these years Dale had a life-changing experience in which he committed his life and future to the Lord Jesus. Shortly after that experience, Dale became convicted that God was calling him into the ministry and that he needed to return to Pacific Union College.

I was delighted. When I was only five years old, I had adored our pastor's wife. She always hugged me and made me so happy I had come to church. I had decided then, "When I grow up I want to be just like her—I want to be a pastor's wife." My dream was coming true!

 

Questions Begin

After three years at PUC and then two at Andrews University in Michigan, Dale began pastoring in Santa Monica, California. We spent three years in Southern California, and then Dale was asked to teach Bible at Monterey Bay Academy. I became the administrative assistant to Principal Harvey Voth. One of my responsibilities was to prepare the daily faculty newsletter. Always at the top of the letter I would put a quote from Ellen White. I was getting up at 5:00 each morning for my devotionals and was reading from The Desire of Ages, so most of the quotes were from that book. When we became concerned about diet, our attention was directed to the book Counsels on Diet and Foods, and my quotes then were taken from that book. We were trying so hard to follow all the counsel of Mrs. White, and we thought others should also.

Dale taught Bible for seven years at MBA, and then he was asked to pastor the nearby church in Watsonville. At that time I sought employment and was accepted with the conference as a Bible worker. My duties were to work with the area pastors in following up their interest leads. I enjoyed my work and saw many people accept Jesus.

One day Dale told me he was becoming disturbed by information that was coming to him regarding the 1844 investigative judgment doctrine giving evidence that it was a non-biblical doctrine. He wanted me to begin reading and studying what he had been studying. I told him I was not interested and cautioned him to be careful because I did not want him to do anything that would cause me to lose my job.

Troubling information regarding Adventist doctrine was arriving in our mail box each day. One day I decided I must study the investigative judgment doctrine for myself, and my study would be only from the Bible. I got a roll of white shelf paper, Strong's concordance, and my Bible. I didn't have the luxury of a computer! Starting at Genesis, I wrote down every text that said anything about judgment. When I got to the New Testament my paper was about twelve feet long. John 5:24 was the clincher for me. "Truly, truly I say unto you, He who hears my word and believes in me does not come into judgment, but has passed from death into life."

"Praise God!" I said. Now, I knew I could no longer believe in a judgment as understood by Adventists, and I also realized this position was contrary to the Adventist doctrines I was being paid to promote.

As the information was coming to us showing the problems of plagiarism with Ellen White and the investigative judgment doctrine, Dale was preaching good gospel sermons from the book of Romans. One Sabbath his sermon was from Romans 6 with emphasis on verse 11. "Even so consider yourselves to be dead to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus." It was a good sermon and filled me with hope and courage, as his sermons usually did.

I was driving to a Bible study on Monday when the truth of this verse really struck home. Suddenly, I realized that since God looks at me as if I am dead to sin, who am I to argue with Him? I was moved to tears and had to pull the car over for a few minutes. I thanked God for showing me that He wanted me to see myself as covered by the perfect righteousness of Christ. This new perspective did not mean that I was suddenly perfect. It did mean that when God looked at me, He did not see my failings and imperfect obedience, but He saw me clothed with the perfect righteousness of Christ—the very "righteousness of God". And if the judge had acquitted me and declared me not guilty, why should I condemn myself? I decided then and there I would agree with God's verdict. Yes, I would consider myself "dead to sin" and "alive to Christ Jesus"!

 

Follow Adventism—or follow Jesus?

The gospel was becoming the deciding issue. We realized we were going to have to choose between following a denomination that taught a false doctrine and following Jesus and the true gospel. This was a hard decision. Adventism was our life. We loved everything about it until we began to see the truth. We never thought there would be a dividing wall between Adventism and Jesus. The first step toward the door of freedom in Jesus was to realize that the 1844 judgment doctrine was false. The second step was realizing that since this doctrine was strongly supported by Ellen White, we could not believe in other things she wrote—especially since we were learning that she copied so much from other writers of her day.

We spent many hours in prayer during this time, crying out to God for guidance and assurance. The Holy Spirit spoke strongly to me one morning as I was reading these verses in Matthew 10:24-39:

A disciple is not above his teacher, nor a slave above his master. It is enough for the disciple that he become like his teacher, and the slave like his master. If they have called the head of the house Beelzebul, how much more will they malign the members of his household! Therefore do not fear them, for there is nothing concealed that will not be revealed, or hidden that will not be known. What I tell you in the darkness, speak in the light; and what you hear whispered in your ear, proclaim upon the housetops. Do not fear those who kill the body but are unable to kill the soul; but rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell. Are not two sparrows sold for a cent? And yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So do not fear; you are more valuable than many sparrows. Therefore everyone who confesses Me before men, I will also confess him before My Father who is in heaven. But whoever denies Me before men, I will also deny him before My Father who is in heaven. Do not think that I came to bring peace on the earth; I did not come to bring peace, but a sword…He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me; and he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me.

After reading these verses, I knew it didn't matter what people were saying about us or how they were treating us. The important issue was that we would be true to our convictions and the leading of the Holy Spirit. We knew that our stand must be on the side of truth and following Jesus only. Together Dale and I made the decision to leave Adventism and we have never regretted it. Now I know with assurance that my sins are forgiven, and I am ready to meet Jesus—even if it is today.

There is no greater joy than knowing and following Jesus! †

 

 

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Carolyn Ratzlaff is the wife of founding editor of Proclamation! Dale Ratzlaff and serves on the board of Life Assurance Ministries Inc. Carolyn and Dale have been married 51 years and have two married sons and four grandchildren. Carolyn and Dale made the decision many years ago to follow Jesus and leave Adventism. Carolyn has just completed her first book My Cup Overflows, detailing her life and experience of leaving Adventism. Dale and Carolyn live in Peoria, Arizona.

You may read much more of Carolyn Ratzlaff's story in her new book available at LifeAssuranceMinistries.com, or by phoning toll-free: 1-800-355-7073.