HOME / PROCLAMATION! MAGAZINE / 2013 / FALL / FAITH STORY CAREY
F A L L • 2 0 1 3
VOLUME 14, ISSUE 3
It was just another car that we passed in the night, but you looked over and noticed the driver—and her car. You said something like, “That girl looks just like Meg Ryan, really cute, and she’s driving a really cute BMW. It’s not fair!” We both laughed. We were almost home, both feeling good from a nice night out. I never did see the driver that looks like Meg Ryan. It was four days until your birthday.
This morning you got up and went upstairs to let your cat Charity out of the bathroom. She was too old and sick to walk down the stairs, but you were glad to see her still alive. You carried her in your t-shirt to the kitchen and tried to feed her, but she wouldn’t eat. Through tears you told me that we should go ahead and do the thing we said we would do. Charity was almost 17 years old and all skin and bones. She couldn’t eat or drink and was in constant pain. You had nursed her through many illnesses for longer than you have known me. But it was time.
The drive to the animal hospital was quiet, and once there, we didn’t have to wait long before the doctor came, bearing his syringe. He was reassuring and efficient, and in a minute, Charity’s pain was no more.
I dug a grave for her by the apricot tree, just where we said we would. When I was finished, you came out with our son Matthew, and you were carrying your Bible. We gathered by the apricot tree, and you set down the little bundle wrapped in your t-shirt. You read this Psalm to us:
“O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you; my flesh faints for you, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water. So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary, beholding your power and glory. Because your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise you” (Ps. 63:1-3).
We thanked God for giving you that scrawny kitten to love when you were single. Surely that was His act of loving kindness during some hard times. Remembering His kindness made it easier to pull the dirt back over the grave. We didn’t say much else, and I went off to work.
“His love is better than life.”
Those are deep words, really far beyond me. Now, while sitting at my desk, the sweet sadness of our morning and the profound words of David keep playing in my head. Facing death, even the death of our littlest friends, stirs up deep longings. We know what it is to wander in a thirsty land, wanting and getting but never having. We spent years working and playing, spending money, pushing along our little ball of worldly goods, like dung beetles. Then in August of 2006, our thirst drove us to God’s word. Like David, we looked on Him and saw His glory. He spoke, and we were alive together. After that, life was much more than just living—it was no longer merely vulgar survival.
On this day you could read Psalm 63 because you are filled with His life. That text was His new mercy for just this morning. And today I was able to hear His word because, again, He showed me mercy. Not long ago, I was an unloving agnostic therapist from a broken family. I received grace upon grace, and so I married you and learned to share our griefs. Our family’s existence is a miracle; it is nothing like what I deserve.
Looking like movie stars and driving sexy cars can’t ever compare with what we are given, freely, every day. Blond hair and BMWs can’t purchase grace. Even so, you are cute in your saucy haircut and your little Rav-4. I don’t need a Meg Ryan or a BMW; my dung-beetling days are over. As I get older, I have someone to laugh and hurt with as we walk towards that dark valley. Even in death, we fear no evil.
Lord, thank you for Sharon. You let us see your glory, and we will never die. Your steadfast love really is better than life.
Copyright 2013 Life Assurance Ministries, Inc., Casa Grande, Arizona, USA. All rights reserved. Revised October 1, 2013. Contact email: proclamation@gmail.com
D E P A R T M E N T S
Stories of FAITH