HOME / PROCLAMATION! MAGAZINE / 2012 / SUMMER / THE LIFE EXAMINED WITH CAROLYN MACOMBER
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VOLUME 13, ISSUE 2
D E P A R T M E N T S
The life EXAMINED with Carolyn Macomber
Slowly reality began to dawn on me. I was on death row. The verdict had been cast. There was no hung jury in my case. The decision was just: "Guilty as charged."
I had never thought of myself as that bad. Sure, I knew I wasn't perfect, but this was hard to swallow. I was dead. That is how Scripture described me: dead in my transgressions (Eph. 2:1-3). I was by nature deserving of God's wrath. That picture was incredibly upsetting to me. I was described in Scripture as an "enemy of God" (Rom. 5:10). It didn't seem fair. I hadn't chosen to be an enemy of God—or had I?
When my great, great, great grandfather Adam sinned, I was not even alive. Why did I have to pay for his sin? Yet, Scripture was clear: sin entered the world through Adam, and death came through his sin, and therefore, death came to all people (Rom. 5:12). That fact meant death came to me.
Romans 3:11-12 was even more depressing: "There is no one who seeks God and no one who does good". But, I thought, I had been seeking God. Somewhere in the back of my mind I had always thought I could work my way into God's good grace. Yet what I was reading was totally opposite of what I had been taught. Scripture was telling me I was dead before I was born, while I was still in my mother's womb.
How was I to understand this revelation? I was breathing, moving, and trying hard to be good. Dead, huh? This death had to mean something other than physical death. I knew I would physically die someday, but Scripture talked about a death I had at birth.
Then I remembered what Jesus said to Nicodemus about birth and death. Nicodemus, too, was confused. Nicodemus was told he needed to be born again. Jesus didn't mince words when He told Nicodemus, "No one can enter the kingdom of God unless they are born of water and the Spirit" (Jn. 3:5). Spiritual birth—this concept was totally foreign to me, although I had read these verses before. "Born again" to me had always meant a commitment to try harder to be good.
Somewhere in the back of my mind I had thought I would escape death row if I simply tried harder to be "good". As a Seventh-day Adventist I believed that before Christ's return to earth, I would have to live without an intercessor. Ellen White (the continuing and "authoritative source of truth" for the Adventist Church) wrote, "In that fearful time the righteous must live in the sight of a holy God without an intercessor" (Great Controversy, p. 615). So I strove harder to be perfect, knowing someday I would have to have a perfect character without Jesus continuing as my advocate.
Then, like light streaming into a darkened cell I realized my only hope was in Christ's sacrificial death for me. His arms had been stretched on a wooden beam in capital punishment on my behalf. His life agonizingly seeped away as the weight of my sin was laid on Him. The judgment I rightly deserved was given instead to a perfect, holy, righteous God. My only hope was Jesus. He was the only One that could bring me from death to life (Eph. 2:5).
As an Adventist I had believed in a false grace. I believed I had to work towards my salvation, and God would hopefully make up the difference where I fell short. Moreover, if I were alive during the time of trouble preceding Jesus' return (according to Ellen White), I would need to have a perfect character without Jesus as my intercessor.
This belief is heresy. It is not biblical. This teaching is a false gospel. And unfortunately, there are over 16 million Adventists who believe some form of this false gospel as I did.
When I left Adventism a professor in the seminary at Andrews University said, "You don't believe in original sin, do you?" The comment was said in a condemnatory tone, as if I would be a fool to believe such a doctrine.
Yes, I believe in a death passed down to me from Adam (Rom. 3 & 5). I believe that instead of seeking God, I was seeking man's applause for my "goodness". I am like the thief on the cross who said, "We are punished justly, for we are getting what our deeds deserve. But this man has done nothing wrong" (Lk. 23:41-42). Do you need to say those words, too?
As I have written this article and revisited my previous condition of death, tears have been welling up in my eyes. Even now I can barely see to type. Grace means so much more to me now than it ever did as an Adventist.
Grace! Ahh, sweet Grace! †
Copyright 2012 Life Assurance Ministries, Inc., Casa Grande, Arizona, USA. All rights reserved. Revised July 2, 2012. Contact email: proclamation@gmail.com
Carolyn Macomber was a doctoral student at Andrews University when she discovered inconsistencies between Adventism and the Bible. She withdrew her membership from the Seventh-day Adventist Church in 2009. She is a member of The Chapel Evangelical Free Church in St. Joseph, Michigan, where she is the leader of a Former Adventist Fellowship. She teaches at an inner-city private school in Benton Harbor, Michigan, and she is a small group leader for Bible Study Fellowship in Granger, Indiana.
